Trying..
Only to see the heart of a destiny
I am not where I want to be so I am mad
Mad at the ones who treat the ones they consider "ugly".
Even they who read my poem will say I have low self esteem.
But Im writing it because its how I feel.
I am not well.
When ugly is all she can see in me.
How can this be when this is not what I see.
Asking myself how can this be.
In another life, another time that maybe she wouldnt ignore me.


With so many sorrows and sad woes.
Loving so many.
Who let other men lay by there toes.
I wish. Or I could pretend that those girls are meant for me.
I am always blinded by what I see.
I am not a pretender!
and like Lil wayne sings his songs.
I will write what I feel at the moment

When the ugly me is all she can see.
Never seeing the true beauty inside of me.
Or the pain that shatters my heart so deeply.
What is this pain that is felt.

Because it is the truth at that time
Whether good or bad, happy or sad.
I shall speak my mind.
When I was younger I would of asked God to give me a sign.
And to grant me just any girl, just any princess who would care for me
And love me for me just because I am moral and kind
But I dont know if there is a God.
Maybe its a fairytale made up by some guy who wanted to
construct a nation of disciplined human beings in line
Or maybe I am wrong. The truth is that I have no certain answers to my questions or neither do I care enough to live forever.
In fact I dont want to because I believe an everlasting life is an act of selfishness. I never would want to deny others a chance of life. The world just isnt big enough. I am happy with my 60 years of life but I am sad and mad because I am 23 and not one girl loves me. Not one!
So each day I am sad and blue
Why is ugly me all that she can see.
And doesnt she care enough to hug me too.
Why does she tend to the ones who alreadi have someone to tend to.
What about me.
I dont want to be ugly anymore
I want her to ask me how i am doing for a change.
And ask me out on a date.
I want to be the one to make love.